#9 - Harder Steps To Begin Meeting Our Micro-Voices (pt 3)

My journey for self-discovery continues with me seeking a shamanic healer to unlock even deeper Inner Child fears and needs. At this point I have significantly shed most of my micro-voice layers that use judgment when interacting with the outer world of people and experiences. I can truly say I love every moment without reservation, feel no need to judge others, and know that I am in partnership with my soul and my soul’s voice, the aware self. Yet there exists something deeper I’m trying to discover that drives aspects of my addictions and mild Asperger’s-like behaviors.

At the very core of my most fragile little boy were apparently experiences that left me feeling unsafe and incomplete. My guess is that I did not receive the intimate nurturing that we all need for development of our secure, loved, most inner self necessary for developing a complete love for self. I had no doubt my parents loved me as dearly as any parent could, but back in the 1950s nurturing practices didn’t include a lot of holding, hugging, and kissing, especially by fathers of sons.

Unfortunately, things haven’t changed that much for the better today.

The years that I have spent developing this blog were primarily head-centered using concepts based on thinking how we need to heal ourselves. I am now discovering my lack of ability to see my Inner Child needs from a heart-centered perspective. Many among us are frustrated not being able to attract a loving mate. For me there has been a hole within me that I now realize comes from not feeling how to love. I can know how we are supposed to love, I can follow websites that tell me what steps I can take to become more lovable, and I have had conversations with loving couples who described their lovingness for each other. But that is only head-centered knowledge.

As mentioned previously I spent time in prison for having an addictive behavior. That was not an ideal place for developing heart-centered personal growth to say the least. But I could safely explore the dynamics that contributed to my Inner Child feeling unsafe and examine the micro-voice layers. Now it is time to seek additional help to uncover what else my head-centered search has not been able to find. For some of you the search has been mostly head-centered and you may be still feeling that emptiness. Both approaches are needed.

There are many disciplines being used in professional counseling now and some work better than others. Finding a counselor for yourself is a very personal experience and I will not make any recommendations. You can make self-discoveries, shed the layers of protection around your Inner Child, and become able to love every moment without conditions and live an ecstatic, creative, happy life with others. But if you discover that there is more you want to uncover about yourself and you seem unable to go further in your self-explorations, then seeking outside sources can be very helpful.

Our souls will bring us the experiences we need to learn how to love. This is our life’s purpose. For most it takes a lifetime to achieve, if at all. Be patient with your progress, but most of all be kind to your many selves. It took many years and untold numbers of experiences to bring us to this point in life and unpeeling the protective layers our Inner Child has created will take significant time to unravel and adjust to. But it does happen. -kc