#6 - How Our Responses to Fears Mask Micro-Voice Abilities
Updated: Oct 18, 2022
Everything from judgments and selfishness, seeking love mates and power, having worries and self-doubt, arguing and resignation are attempts by our various micro-voices to feel some degree of safety, security, and control. Our vulnerable Inner Child creates micro-voices to protect itself from perceived and real threats. Whenever there is a hint of threat in, even minor ways to us, one or more of our many micro-voices come to the defense of our child to protect against the fear.
The protection comes in the form of behaviors masking the deeper fears held by our insecure Inner Children community of voices. Bullies, manipulators, abusers, power brokers and narcissists have deep senses of insecurity that they compensate for and reflect voices that try to control others to make their Inner Child feel safer. Even gentler types like teachers and care givers can be trying to satisfy deep needs to be liked, to be needed, to be important. And self-destructive behaviors are a form of avoiding our past traumas that can turn into addictions, self-harm actions, and risk-taking beyond normal levels of safety that may reflect attitudes about our feelings of self-worth.
Our dominant, more accomplished, micro-voices determine the path we follow. Life directions, work decisions, professions, personal choices, love needs, all tell us what voices are dominant. Our minor voices may play a less obvious role and let the dominant voices take over or they may play significant minor roles like passive-aggressive behaviors or even being supportive . By examining our major and minor interests, beliefs, and behaviors we can create a picture of who are our micro-voices. Spend time reflecting on what emerges by asking these voices to describe their fears and concerns. These are the pieces to our complicated personalities and are reflections of our Inner Child’s past traumas. Separating these inter-connections makes it easier finding ways to ease the fears associated with each micro-voice.
Discussed in an earlier segment were ways to communicate with our voices to help them feel safe enough share the source of their fears. As an individual voice begins feeling safer other of ours voices can begin to learn that it is safer for them to unburden some of their fears as well. As my fears became exposed in my own self-exploration I discovered my little boy just wanted to be held, wanted to be played with, didn’t want to be abandoned by my busy adult-self life that had me working long hours and long days.
My little boy loved to explore the outdoors, so I made time to notice the mysteries around me more. But mostly, I took time to keep him in my thoughts, talking to him daily, wanting to know how he was feeling, letting him know his adult-self still loved him. I still ask him what he want to do and when possible do what he suggests. There wasn’t a miraculous sudden change, but I had subtle shifts in self-awareness and I felt a greater ease in my daily activities. This was a particularly difficult period in my life when I was an emotional mess and discovering my little boy was the first real thread I had to follow towards finding inner peace.
The masks that we wear are just that, layers of emotions covering our deeper child needs and abilities that we show to the world. As long as our little child feels unsafe we will create masks. When we release the fear that burdens our Inner Child, we feel no need to judge ourselves or others, we accept our abilities for what they are, and we see ourselves as unique and not needing to live up to anyone else’ expectations. Then we become able to discard the protective masks and the judgments that distort our true abilities. - kc