#24 - Challenge Our Thoughts, Release Our Fears, Find Love - It’s That Simple!
Updated: Aug 29
by KC Johnson
If only it was that simple.
Each step to finding love can take many years and untold numbers of experiences to learn how to make real progress. Yet that is the process we need to make to discover real happiness. It’s not meant to be easy. The discovery that leads to change is the most challenging and critical part of our self-healing.
Change means unwinding years of learned emotional energies we hold on to while protecting our fragile Inner Child from real and perceived fears. Like a jar filled with ball bearings every time one is removed from deep within, all of those above have to make slight adjustments. Our micro-voices that are holding on to their protective energies will change and grow, but they do so slowly by making micro-adjustments.
Getting out of the way of my old self was tough.
Way back in my 30s I began exploring why I couldn’t find a loving mate, probably not a different question than what most people reading this have asked. But even more, I was wanting to untangle my convoluted thoughts that conflicted with my attempts to love life.
There were so many obstacles! Work became an excuse to keep my head down. My weird anti-authority views narrowed my options for not just finding another person to share my life with but for building financial security and stability. And my fragile little boy kept his protective barriers up making it difficult to develop genuine relationships. People came and went because my little boy kept my hands up keeping people from getting too close and exposing vulnerabilities.
Eventually I did find a special person, but I could not release the baggage of my beliefs that included lots of judgment, self-doubt, and my secret weirdness. My staunchly held views made me too inflexible to adjust to sharing a life with another person.
That shaky relationship became the starting point for self-exploration in new directions. My partner developed HIV and we began reading about New Age healing ideas from Louise Hay, Gary Zukav, Deepak Chopra, Dr. Wayne Dyer, and many others. The Harmonic Convergence for world sanity was a huge event in August 1987 that grabbed my sense of possible wholeness and connections to the greater universe rather than just my inner world.
The more I searched for answers, the more doors opened for me, each leading me into my ultimate direction of finally releasing the fears that anchored me to my fearful childhood experiences.
The further back in my life I went the more I began discovering that I was responsible for creating my emotional energy blockages. The more unwinding I did, the more adjustments the rest of my other micro-voices had to resolve. I could finally begin to see that I created all of my energy blockages, and by re-experiencing these traumatic thoughts, I could begin to release them. Releasing one fearful thought opened my doors onto the next one that had to have the previously held thoughts released first. A Rubik’s cube-like process that spanned many years with intentional efforts by my adult self of asking my little boy what he would like to tell me. Once I met his need to feel safer, he began telling me his fears, his less protected at first, then more deeply protected vulnerabilities later on.
We created responses to our fears and we can release those fears because they reside within our Inner Child's attempts to feel safer.
We are 100% responsible for thoughts we hold on to and
we have the total ability to redesign our inner landscape.
Even though it’s not easy it is accomplished many times over as we mature as we experience life events. If we focus our energies on releasing our fears, we will experience the healing events we need for discovering how to really love. In turn we will start experiencing the loving universe giving us opportunities to be loved. That’s just part of the laws of energy the universe is trying to get us to understand.
Practice using blocked energy releasing techniques to allow our judgmental emotional energy dams to dissolve. Our thoughts are the key and changing our thought patterns, even when ever so slightly changed, begin the process for significant re-calibration of our attitudes and course corrections leading to a more loving life.
Whether we talk to our inner self, or talk with others about our fears, or just write down our challenging thoughts, we can generate the change process to unlock our layers of held judgments and fears. Actors, artists, teachers, writers, healers, care givers, and many more expressive people are in the process of healing themselves. They may not realize that the choices they make are also the steps needed to discover how to love themselves. Their soul is presenting them with options and they are choosing to follow that path for healing.
Examine what expressive directions we tend to gravitate towards and we will see a path to self-discovery. Just keep exploring and keep listening to that deep inner voice our soul speaks to us through. We will keep receiving experiences and lessons from our that we most need to learn from. There is no one path. We need to trust our deep self’s ability to tap into the voice of our soul and our universal guides.
Be wary of following the lives of ‘gurus’ who profess ‘The Way’. Their path is not our path -- it’s their path! Each of us is unique and our winding path teaches us ‘our’ lessons. We can read about their journeys and glean new insights for ourselves, but immersing ourselves in their journey short circuits our own progress.
Fortunately for me, my inner drive for independent thinking kept me from blindly following others. In hindsight I can see how important it was to have the experiences I was having. The agonizing nights trying to figure out why I felt the way I did, why the ‘right’ person wasn’t showing up in my life, and why it was taking so long to get things figured out just had to happen in the sequences that they did.
Those agonizing moments marinated my thinking strengthening me, shaped my character, and provided me with the emotional tools I need today. Seemingly interminable months and years of fog were exactly what I needed. Perhaps all of us have to spend time in the fog figuring out how to disperse it. Wandering the world following gurus in search of ‘the truth’ can be the same foggy process. At some point it will become clear that we have held the power for change within us all along.
Believing in our selves is the fastest way to deep self-discovery.
We are way more powerful than we give ourselves credit for. At every moment we are connected to the universe of loving energies directing us to love every moment. We have powers way beyond our simple day-to-day experiences. The blinders that we wear prevent us from making many inner self and universal discoveries.
We are brimming with many possibilities and abilities to connect with the energies of others, with universal forces that far surpass our wildest imaginings. We just have to learn to read the tea leaves to find answers.
Once we realize this about ourselves, we can begin hearing our inner voice guiding us. It’s all very exciting once we begin experiencing these revelations happening within us. It starts with releasing our fears and it ends with discovering incredible peace and happiness. No matter how many lifetimes it takes, we will get there. That’s just how the universe works. Just keep at it, keep dissolving fears and keep freeing the true powers our Inner Child holds for us. - kc